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  • Writer's pictureJessica Taylor Yates

So rude: a guide to not being a garbage human being

Updated: Oct 1, 2020

Clean up after yourself, ya filthy animal.

Something wrong with your hands buddy? Source: Click Americana

Okay, fine, you say. I'll be the DD this round. Everyone hops in your car with their travellers, you're having a laff, doing the right thing - only to realise the next day that they LEFT ALL THEIR FUCKING BOTTLES ROLLING AROUND IN YOUR CAR. Hell no! So wait - you do a favour, and this is the thanks you get - your car smelling like beer for your Monday morning? Rude. Who are these animals who believe it's fine for other people to pick up your shit? Clean up after yourself. In peoples' car and:

At the cinema

Pick it up. You are trash. Source: GiPHY

So, I would say this is 99% of people. But like...if you were at a friend's house watching a movie, would you just throw your popcorn on the floor and walk out? Yuck. I suppose I come from experience, as cleaning your filth in the cinema was my first teen job, and it wasn't all PG-rated garbage if you catch my drift. Be a human, and take your trash with you, you filthy animal.

In the food court

So you're just gonna...leave that there, then? Who raised you? Source: GiPHY

Lowest of the low. It's like, I know, I'll shop around on my free Saturday, eat some KFC sober at 11 am, and then leave it for some poor cleaner to wipe - oh and also leave the table as a cesspit of germs so no-one else can sit here. I picture a really greasy person with holes in their shirt walking around chomping on a chicken leg in Rebel Sport while they do this. Do not be this person. You literally take YOUR OWN TRAY to the bin and that's it. Just Do it.

In someone else's car

Get the fuck out. Source: GiPHY

I feel I have expressed my rage thusly, but your Macca's wrappers, your travellers, your coffee cups - like your phone and wallet, they go with you when you leave (unless in your partner's car. Shantay, you stay).

At the second-hand store

It is a hard no on dumping your trash on volunteers. LOOK AT YOURSELF. Source: GiPHY

People who leave their rubbish outside these places should be jailed. Honestly, the people who work here are either volunteers or working for the minimum wage to make money for people who need it most. You're not 'giving back,' but putting your junk where it expressly says not to, you're being selfish and just dumping your rubbish. You're literally expecting other people to sort through your trash. No.

On public transport

Um FYI, that person is YOU if it's yours... Source: GiPHY

So, I'm personally fine with eating and drinking on the train (not with cutting toenails like in this Bad Manners recap though - YUCK!) Like, girl's gotta eat, and nothing like grabbing a Boost Juice or Maccas fries as a cute snack before dinner on the train home pre-COVID. But you know what happens with that Boost Juice? I finish it, and then either put it in my handbag or get off at my stop and put it in the bin, because I wasn't raised by wolves.

At the dinner table

That's...not how you clean a plate. Source: GiPHY

Ugh, nothing grinds my gears more than entitled children, or sorry but let's be real, grown men, who have dinner prepared by someone else (usually a woman), and then leave that woman, or other female guests, to clean up their dirty plates. Yo. YOU just ate. YOU! I understand if you are a guest in someone's home and they want to treat you as such, but if you're going to grandma's every single week and she's slaving over the stove and then the sink, get the fuck up and clear those dishes!

So overall - clean up your mess. There, I said it in 140 characters or less.

Cover Image: CBS Television


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