I Went To A Sex Class On The Art Of Female Domination And Here's What Happened

A casual read on BDSM before your morning coffee.

Source: Pixely

Who am I? Source: GiPHY

So basically, I was having lunch with some girlfriends I made over an app in LA, one thing led to another, we were looking at fun things to do. We skipped over the usuals like a hike at Griffith Observatory, saw this and it was basically like waiting for someone to please backout, no one did, and so we all booked whilst eating Korean BBQ at 2pm on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

We drove to an old warehouse that kind of looked like if you picture where you would be murdered/tortured, then this is probably it. Our fearless leader then came out, although not as envisioned. She wasn't in latex or coated in silicone. She was wearing an XL shirt with penguins on it, eyeglasses, jeans and sandals. Nice. Approachable. A homely dominatrix, if you will. She then introduced herself: "Welcome to the Art of Female Domination. I am Madame Lacroux, and have been a Head Dominatrix for over 30 years. I have dominated over ten thousand men, trained over one thousand mistresses, I have now retired to focus on my hobbies - dungeon designing and education, and I am currently running for President of the United States".

Love you! Source: GiPHY

Also, I mean, because OF COURSE. Although to be fair, considering the current candidates, is it really that ridiculous?

A few couples were here to look into how to become professional 'Doms'. My friends and I copied each other's beige-girl answers about 'looking to...uh...learn, expand, grow and just....uh...yep'. I felt like the first chick who would get the boot in The Bachelor and come the recap ep, you'd be like, "Who dis?" I was that boring. I was just in legit in SO much fucking pain from fighting back the urge to laugh myself to a legitimate death, my insides literally felt like they were going to burst. Everyone was just so SERIOUS, but I mean, they found each other. I'm in their world, they're doing their thing, no one forced me here, so that's on me. Some people like to get together and play golf, and others like to sit around learning how to turn your partner into your sissy boy who you can collar and defecate on. I'm in their domain, so respect. Ke Sera, Sera. But like...daytime!

Source: GiPHY

Madame Lacroux informed us that there can be many kinds of kinks, why just yesterday she had a call from a man who wanted to be walked on and watered like grass! She also had a chalkboard (the whiteboard had promotional material for her presidential campaign) where we were encouraged to call out answers to whether a certain activity was 'STINGY' or 'THUDDY' pain - for instance, CBT (Cock and Ball Torture guys, keep up) that falls under STINGY, whereas spanking, that goes under THUDDY. Prof Sub was feverishly typing down notes as she rested her computer on her assless chaps. You see, she has aims of being a Dom and needs to learn how to become a 'switch'. I would someday like to learn to make a pot roast without burning it. We all have dreams, kid. I was slowly learning just how vanilla mine are.

I am so basic rn. Source: GiPHY

We were then taught the difference between 'VERBAL ABUSE' and 'VERBAL HUMILIATION' that we, as mistresses, should be inflicting upon our subs. Madame Lacroux then got lost in the memories of her own sub, or 'sissy boy', and recounted a romantic date they shared. He took her shopping for $1000 stockings, went back to her Dominatrix Pad (that she noted she designed herself - she also can be hired out for personal bookings to plan your own Dom dungeon, if you're interested?) where she lay him down, stood over him, peed on him and her stockings, took them off and shoved them in his mouth. Ah, young romance. It's like it was ripped straight off the pages of Mills and Boon.

Good chat. Source: GiPHY

Students were then invited to give suggestions on humiliating their subs - Prof Sub for instance, suggested "Ooh! Ooh! getting them to buy you a coffee, taking a sip, then throwing it in their face!" Madame Lacroux clasped her hands with glee. "Very good!" she marvelled and smiled at her new protege who was making her 'switch' before our very eyes.

It appeared I was not exactly excelling.

Memory, all along in the moonlight...Source: GiPHY

Madame Lacroux also informed us that it is of utmost importance to learn your slave's 'Origin Story', not dissimilar to that of the X-MEN franchise. For instance, a slave she had caged for many years (...) stated that he was 'inspired' to get into Foot Fetishing after his kindergarten teacher played the piano barefoot, and her feet smelt of the sweet grass he played on as a boy. It was heartwarming to hear his story - it was just like Modern Love.

Madame Lacroux also told us a bit about her own 'Origin' story. She told us that as a child, she always had a penchant for scissoring the neck of a doll with her bare thighs. I was more of a boring Barbie and Ken kinda kid, but different strokes for different folks.

Madame Lacroux also gave us some history, stating that, "As you can tell, I'm a fan of predicament bondage...It's close to my heart" and continued with a sad look in her eye as she gazed out the window, lamenting that "no-one does it anymore". She tapped her chest with a tinge of nostalgic sadness and paused for effect as the Bottoms, Subs, No. 2, Smiley Malaysian Lady and Age Disparity Couple all nodded in agreement about an art form I'm sure not one of them knew about seconds earlier. Madame Lacroux also gave us the 'inside scoop' on Male Slaves - for example, according to her, they mostly work in IT, although it is the chefs and doctors who most enjoy a bit of male semen or work in the human defecation area.

It really is true - you learn something new every day. Source: GiPHY

No. 2 didn't need to take notes (obviously), she just nodded along calmly. She even offered to answer the questions from the subs and 'Bottoms' for the Madame, for instance, Smiley Malaysian Lady wanted to know how to stay in character in a long-winded session. No. 2 informed us that actually wouldn't you know it, she had just gotten back from a weekend-long kidnapping session at a desert hotel (!) and suggested getting the male slave to sit and lick your feet, or perhaps get them to do some cleaning whilst wearing a female maid uniform whilst you sit and set your next move. Madame Lacroux was impressed (and also took this moment to mention that she in fact runs a Kidnapping Class, which also assists with lie detection skills and mental health, Saturdays 2-4pm).

In conclusion, she stated, the classes are for all women who can control- those who wanted to become Madames, men looking to become sissy boys/subs or slaves, and to maintain control. Latex is advised, particularly for Fetish Calls, for example, a tightening and piercing of the scrotum scenario.

Source: GiPHY

In conclusion, this was perhaps the biggest eye-opener I have ever had into the sub-culture of BDSM. Whilst not to my particular sexual palette, I will say there is no doubt Madame Lacroux 100% knew her field. I advised my then-boyfriend of all I had learnt, suffice to say he wasn't too keen for me to share this for fear I went out of his personal request. He needs you to know that it was a hard no. I was just bored. Some people scroll insta. I went to a class on the art of female domination. Ke sera, sera.